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Who is to blame for… well, everything? Why, themuns of course!

Themuns – Norn Iron* dictionary definition

*Norn Iron = Northern Ireland, North of Ireland, Six Counties, them crazies up there/over there**

**Them crazies up there/over there is a variant of themuns

Themuns – anyone different than you; particularly anyone of a different faith, nationality, colour, sexuality, gender, colour, political persuasion. In other words… Themuns!

 

Themuns (usually shouted whilst red in the face or written in CAPITOLS or BIG LETTERS as those who dabble in the use of themuns might say) is used in conversation in a variety of manners. See below,

 

Local Norn Iron context:

Themuns here is deployed as a weapon of defense and/or offence when someone perceives one of the following:

* someone or some group is getting something I’m not or we’re not

 *someone or some group is getting off with something I or my group are not

*someone from one of my ‘themuns’ groups does something I think is wrong

 *someone from my perceived group does something wrong

 

Some examples of usage:

 When someone is getting something I am not: See themuns? Themuns get everything.

When someone is getting off with something: Aye, typical themuns. Themuns get off all the time.

When someone from one of my ‘themuns’ groups does something I think is wrong; Told you themuns were up to something.

When someone from my perceived group does something wrong: Aye but what about* themuns?

 

*see what about or whataboutery

 

Coronavirus Context:

Almost everything to do with the Coronavirus Pandemic can be, and is, blamed on themuns.

 

Some examples of usage:

Themuns made it in a lab

That’s themuns and their 5G

Themuns could have told us earlier but they didn’t

These restrictions are themuns trying to keep us under lock and key

 

*The fact that those who deploy themuns in this way are often to be seen congregating with others, visiting relatives or driving about unnecessarily, thereby increasing the likelihood of the restrictions being needed even more, is rarely mentioned.

 

Brexit context:

 It should be noted that Brexit or the lack of Brexit is entirely blamed on themuns.

 

Some examples of usage:

 Leave voters: Themuns are all racist thugs

 

Remain voters: Themuns are disloyal, lefty wing nuts

 

People who don’t know whether they are remain or leave advocates: Typical themuns.

 

International context:

Themuns is levelled against anyone from ‘not here’ who comes here and is therefore to blame for all the problems we have faced for generations before they arrived.

 

Some examples of usage:

 When housing figures are released: That’s themuns taking our houses

 

When GP waiting times are released: That’s themuns taking our doctors*

 

*the fact that many of the doctors and nurses saving our lives daily are themuns is never mentioned by people who deploy themuns in conversation.

 

When unemployment figures are released: That’s themuns taking our jobs*

 

*the fact that themuns contribute more money into our society than they take out, thereby enriching us not only culturally but financially as well is never mentioned. If it is, a quick ‘aye but what about them other ones’ (second level themuns deployment) is the weapon of choice.

 

I myself met one of themuns, from Spain no less, this morning. Coming over here with her manners and culture, educating our kids in the school she teaches in, contributing taxes to our economy and otherwise brightening up my morning. Tut, tut, tut. Typical themuns… But I digress.

 

Current Patterns of usage of themuns:

A quick scan of social media, print media and spoken media would indicate that the use of themuns is on the increase at present. Anyone who would have the temerity to suggest that this is polarising our society and is a crass reaction to the difficult times we live in both locally and internationally and that we might be better to catch ourselves on* and stop using it as an unnecessary defence and a hurtful offence? Well, that would be typical of themuns wouldn’t it?

 

*to catch oneself on is to adopt a sensible approach to life, acknowledging that we all face difficult things both in our present and in our histories, and that we might be better trying to get on together.

See also: wise up, reel it in, wind your neck in, for God’s sake give us all a break, show some sense, stap fighting!

One Comment

  • Theresa

    Exactly Jim, we all – not just themuns need to stap fighting. We could try a bit of love towards themuns, maybe themuns could try a bit of love back. Love, acceptance and tolerance of each other would go a long way.
    Peace to themuns whoever or wherever they are.

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